Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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