im having a threesome with these popsicles
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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