You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
no you cant smoke seaweed
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
