Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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