i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
