Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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