But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
the raccoons are back...
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