Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
