have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
