worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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