I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
