I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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