ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
