But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
