Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I hate your face
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
