You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
