they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize
