I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
