He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
