I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize