maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
