I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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