He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my sisters under your porch take her home
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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