Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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