Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
