How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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