we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
