My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
