she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
