just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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