We should be called the Road Head Warriors
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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