Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
