Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
