alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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