I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
