You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
