when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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