I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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