Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
