john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
