I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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