I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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