All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So apparently I’m into choking now
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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