We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I wear drunk well.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
