My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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