I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
