Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
