you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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