found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
