Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
