Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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